Confession

I always regard myself as gutsy, brave, heart of steel kinda person. But lately the feelings started to decline bit by bit. I'm becoming timid and scared. Well, more to paranoid to be exact. My overactive imaginations of the 'what if' scenario always went to the very worst situation possible and I can't steer it to the positive side. I ended up having panic attack, edgy, agitated and frustrated all day long. I get worried over everything quite easily. Like if my brother get on his bike and went to the shop behind our house, I'll be pacing around the house like mad until he get back home safely. I watched over everyone in the house while they were sleeping just to make sure that they're breathing and still alive (especially my mom). I can't sleep if one of my siblings is not home yet. And the list goes on.... I don't like this, the feeling. I just wanna get rid of this riddiculous paranoia coz it drags me down mentally, phsically and emotionally. And I'm sick of it! There's a lot going on in the past few months which I believe contributes to my situation. I can say that I'm traumatized by all the events. I honestly don't know if I could ever feel normal again. I hope I could. All I can do now is pray to the Almighty for my strength that I once had. Never give up, keep praying and fight the negativity inside me. I believe Allah will help me, Insya Allah.